MarieTrout

Walking through the blues.

Judgment Daze

Posted on April, 10th 2013 by Marie

… So often we do this: We judge others! I certainly have thoughts on a regular basis that sound something like this:

-“That guy looks so mean”

-“She’s so full of herself”

– “I bet you are angry with me right now”

We do it all the time: We tell each other and ourselves our stories – that ultimately are all about ourselves. We take what others say and do to mean all sorts of things. And the real story of what we assume is often found, when we look at ourselves in the mirror!

Check out this video:

Often we find out that the story of other people’s lives is completely different from what we assume.

A part of my daily practice for the moment is to step back from my judgment of what I think about others – and instead just rest in the moment as they pass me by. I send them a blessing if they look angry. I send them a kind thought if they look scared. I send them a smile if they look at me. I send them loving thoughts instead of my normal judging thoughts.

And the funny thing is, this kind of practice makes me feel more kind, blessed and able to love. And so it is the gift that keeps on giving. Ultimately feeling more compassionate towards others, I also find that I feel more compassionate towards myself – and my own shortcomings.

I am not just coming up with this out of the blue. I am doing a study in neuroscience and personal practice. It is really fascinating. Neuroscientists find that we can change parts of how our brains function by consistently doing a practice for as little as 8 weeks!

When we react with anger and irritability, we interrupt the functioning of the frontal lobes in our brains. This is where rational behavior originates. It makes sense that if we walk around allowing ourselves to be triggered all day long by people we meet, or e-mails we get, or things we hear about on TV, or things we find on the internet that our ability to accurately sense what is actually going on around us gets diminished.

And a simple practice such as not judging others – but rather sending them a kind thought – is working for me. If you want to take part in this little experiment, just create a little “judgment alarm” for yourself, and instead switch into “loving kindness” mode. And you might find that you feel yourself less judged and less angry too.

That doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to take care of business!

Studies also show that the less we allow ourselves to get triggered into angry reactions, the more energy we actually have to make a difference where we can!

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Judgment Daze”

  1. Marie, this is a fabulous post. I do practice smiling at people – it’s amazing how it can turn someone around, as well as myself. I work with a science-based anti-aging company whose unparalleled success is in the network marketing arena. Everything you said in this blog rings so true with what I’ve learned along my journey with them and the expert training we get.Thank you for a great “thought for the day”!

  2. Thanks for this Marie. Now, more than ever, I am challenged to transcend my own myopic understanding to try to feel and experience the world through another peoples’ eyes (living in Moldova.) It is only when I can escape my obsessive need to control my surroundings – which is fed by making judgments about my circumstances – that I find myself truly living this experience, rather than watching it like a movie on the screen.

    1. Good point that we feel less separation between us and the world that way. Maybe when in a foreign country under such different circumstances as you find yourself, it is probably tempting to do so though.

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"We are more alike than we are different. This is the story of the blues."

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